So on the Whole30 website, there's an article that describes all the phases one goes through during the challenge. I mentioned earlier that there's a phase called "Kill ALL the Things," and I totally felt that one - I wanted to rage on my students, and I had this intense need to just be alone because EVERYTHING bothered me for about two days. It was very un-Shano-like, and kind of fun to see what I'm like as a b-word :) Anyway, these past few days, I've been in the phase of dreaming about food, and I didn't think it would happen to me...until last night. I had a horrible dream (Nightmare on Carb Street) that I was eating pizza, chips, and I even had wine! It sounds like a glorious time to my inner Augustus Gloop, but my Whole30 self spent the rest of the dream stressed the f*ck out because I didn't know how to hide the fact that I was eating carbs. Apparently, in my dream, there were Whole30 police combing the area or something, because the paranoia felt very real. I woke up freaking out because I thought I had to start my 30 days over again, and while I'm not hating this month of clean eating....I just *really* don't want to start over. *Really.*
This dream may be in conjunction with my Thursday night volunteer extravaganza - I'm chaperoning a trip to Spain this spring, and I helped bus tables at this wonderful place called the Pizza Ranch. It's a pizza buffet. A PIZZA. BUFFET. Do you know how hard it is to be in the same room as your favorite food in the entire world (there was ice cream, too. Kill me.) and not eat it? They had Mac and Cheese Pizza. I didn't even know that was a thing, and despite the fact that I know I'm not supposed to eat stuff like that, I couldn't help walking by it like 10 times, just to get drunk on pizza fumes. I actually talked to a gal that worked at this Ranch for Pizzas, and while I was contemplating ways to rustle myself a slice of caramel-apple-dessert pizza, she told me about a similar diet that she was on. She took a break over the holidays to eat yummy stuff and drink, and she said she'd never felt more sick in her life and it took her a few days to recover. Just from one day of eating all of the delicious, over processed, sugary things that are non-compliant, she had three days of feeling like she was going to shit her pants. So - while I would love to indulge and say, "screw it - I've worked hard, I'm almost half-way through! Gimmie that cookie. NOW," I don't want to suffer the consequences of pants-shitting for three days. Also, our conversation made me really nervous for what happens when my 30 days are up. I'm supposed to start incorporating foods back into my diet to see what my body can handle, and I'm terrified that I have issues with carbs - seriously, number-one fear right now. I can't live with out bread. I NEED crackers. Beer is sweet nectar, and pizza...god dammit, if I can't have delicious pizza from a buffet, then really, what will become the shining light in my world? Glu-ehn free? Nooooooooooooo!
"She doesn't know what gluten is, but she *doesn't do it."*" - Iliza Shelsinger is HIGHlarious.
Well, here's hoping that I make it to the half-way point without another nightmare...although, it was nice to shove Doritos in my mouth, even if they were sub-conscious Doritos (dipped in sub-conscious sour cream. So sub-conscious delicious).
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